September is January 2.0 - So time for a Change...!!
So – it’s September! The beginning of meteorological autumn, the new school year, holiday prices miraculously fall by about half and advertisers, shops and the most organised member of your family will start mentioning the C word…
If there is a change that you would like to make, then September is a good time to do it, but it really does need to be rooted in something that you want to do for yourself – not that someone else has decided you should do. Change should be about enabling you to live your best life, because you never know what’s around the corner. This is a chance to move towards the end of the year with a new sense of pride, determination and success – being the best you that you can be!
Even at the best of times, January is a terrible time to make major changes to your life. It’s cold, it’s dark, all the cheerful Christmas decorations have gone, it’s a REALLY long month – especially when waiting for pay day, (why DID you spend all that money on those ungrateful b*$£@&s???)
Were you one of the people who took on ‘Dry January’? Did you make it?? Did it last beyond January? Or may be you decided that this was the year to get fit and healthy. How’s that been for you? Or you decided to re-launch yourself on the job market? Or perhaps decided that this year you were going to find a partner who appreciates you? Get your family to take their share of the load? Stop doing that thing you do that you know irritates all those around you??
You probably started your quest for the new improved version of yourself with the very best and purest of intentions – the problem is that making changes is really, really hard. It gets even harder when the people around you seem absolutely set on sabotaging you, or, more likely, helping you sabotage yourself. So – given that it’s September – New Year 2.0 – what could you do to give yourself the best chance of success? There are 4 really simple actions that you could take to maximise your chances of success:
1. Be clear about why you want to make the change and make a list of the benefits that it will bring you. We’re programmed to survive, so your subconscious needs to know that this change will be good. Make a list of the benefits and keep them handy for quick reference when things get tough and it would be easy to give in.
2. Habits are formed over long periods and comprise of a cue, a routine and a reward. If you set out to change a habit you need to pay attention to these three elements. Really look at your own behaviour before, during and after doing the thing you’re trying to change. If you understand them, you can start o pre-empt your own behaviour and catch yourself.
3. Change the goal so that it’s different to the one that you have set and failed at before. So if you’ve said you want to lose two stones, set a goal of 25lbs instead. That way it’s new, and you can approach it knowing that it’s going to be different this time.
4. Carefully look at who you decide to tell about your change. Do you have the sort of friends who will see you giving up drinking as a challenge? Often people will decide to interpret your stopping drinking/eating sugar/taking up the couch to 5k as a judgement on them – obviously it isn’t because frankly – it’s NOT all about them, even if they think most things are!! Drinking – well, driving is the obvious or do it for a charity and set up a Just Giving page. You could tell them it’s medical and you’ve got to give up for a month. Eating cake – ask your friends for help in keeping control, or, if you think they’ll just try harder to get you to join in, tell them you’re feeling a bit ill, that you’ve got a huge meal later, that you’ve realised the sugar triggers a migraine so you’re doing an exclusion diet this month…
All of this is all very well – you’re an intelligent person and this isn’t rocket science! The big question is : how to make it stick this time? We’re hypnotherapists and we can help you – you don’t have to do this alone and you don’t have to keep repeating the same patterns. Come and talk to us and we’ll help you.
Russell & Sue Thackeray